The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives, by Lola Shoneyin - a review

Picture courtesy: Amazon

This is the kind of a book I have always dreaded. They are to a large extent a true depiction, and many truths hurt. This book is about the household of Baba Segi (father of Segi, his first born) and his household consisting of his four wives and their children. The fourth wife is, as it would seem to the household, an unnecessary novelty - a graduate( :O ). Educated and independent and young. How will that determine the future of the household? The book was marketed with and indeed has a secret, but what made me read was the picture of the society that was painted, and very deftly so too, but not the plot to be exact.

The book starts with a traditional and seemingly perfect and happy Nigerian family set a bit behind its new educated class. The way established patriarchal ways of family establishment treat women, first makes me pucker my brow and nose in disgust; this creates a sense of wonder for this uniformity of horrificness across continents and oceans for women, and finally the partial benevolence emanating from the patriarch Baba Segi and his family for each other confuses my disgust. Why it is the way it is with Baba Segi, Bolane and his other wives? Baba Segi, mind you, might be sexist but is not a misogynist. He is a good outcome of a society which has certain different parameters of judgement, so don't hurry your judgement.

The story goes on and I realise a thing about myself. I never thought that I would find the use of poop humour intelligent! Yes, I just wrote it. Having written it, in this story this is a good use of humour to bring a sense of normalisation, which exists if you are living this life as many people perhaps still do, into these situations which will make human rights' carers go hoarse. Humour in sombre and deeply distressing situations saves the day. It doesn't make you want to kill yourself in despair, or engage in a heated debate but start a conversation from a place which is comfortable(for some reason), even enjoyable for the apt use of comedy and makes you think before jumping into a conclusion you already know exists.

It is my first fiction which closely followed the lives of these classes of African women whose sense of normalcy and ours clash like a battle of titans. They are not "strong" women, some may argue but are they not? Why Iya Segi, Iya Femi, Iya Tope and Bolanle are who they are? Are they justified? Are they to be pitied, or feared? Or should we just marvel at the way they tried to hold on to life and the carefully elaborate plans they make to conquer it.

Iya Segi's wisdom- is it just wisdom, or is it her cunning and deprived self finding a way out, and quenching her thirst through ambition? Why shouldn't she be who she is? She is ambitious, in control, manipulative but is the matriarch of the household. You dislike her first and then you somewhere starts understanding and even rooting for her almost sometimes.
Iya Femi- her story tells you the origin of the poison in her, and is it that unjustified? It is evil and dangerous at one side, but when you look the other way, don't you feel pity for her? She had once a promising life ahead, perhaps if life had given her a chance she would become someone like Bolanle, but then she lost all. She found a way out. Does she hate Bolanle also because she wanted to be an image of what now scares her current life's stability and existence the most?
Iya Tope- you are always rooting for her, and if you believe in god, you would perhaps pray for her.
And Bolanle. She understood these women. She could decipher the root of their hatred, she pities them while she need as much sympathy and empathy as all the others. She is kind with horrors of her own. Why was this life her choice?  And how long will she be able to hold onto it? I was waiting. Their stories were unfolding, and I was waiting for Bolanle to snap.

We sometimes detest the "family politics", which we many-a-times identify as a soap opera like drama. But this story, and many others like this makes me wonder. That drama is ever present everywhere. Sometimes it transforms itself into something we know as world politics. Our own mistakes, conditions, others' sometimes unmeant actions make these stories and claim lives. Whose fault is it? Then something happens, something snaps. The "unnaturality" of Bolanle, the insecurity of people whose own lives have not been well drawn arcs of justice but kind enough to let them build an almost comfortable and happy world out of it, make something happen.

Segi almost died. Whose fault is it? Mama Segi's? Mama Femi's? Yes, they deserve punishment. But why they thought what they thought? Why they acted the way they acted? I personally am sometimes so obsessed with justice, and yes it is needed, but how just will be a sentence on these women?  Would it respect the story and the life that lead to its pronouncement? And how promising or dangerous will be a pardon?

As the chapters go on, I wonder if this is a book or a soap-opera? You know the twists are coming and you still enjoy them. A known story which you relish for its drama discerning into the folds of human character in designed situations. They seem similar, but are not that much.
I have hated those soap-operas all my life, but I am relishing this book and smacking my lips. Have I gone the way of that insane old lady that all predicted me to be one day!? :( I had thought I would be an aantel-er version of the old lady. Seems not.

The characters seem to come to a well-predicted cliff, and to move ahead, they paid an intolerably sad  and heavy price. But then they took their courses. Only Bolanle and Akin gave me hope at the end, the other endings seemed befitting to the story arcs, but... you wonder

This was a humorous book and a moving drama which is also very sad and challenging if you take human rights seriously. The good thing is that it doesn't blame anyone, but gives an impartial observation with kindness and amusement on what somewhere were the tragedies of life.

I definitely recommend this book. I will give it 4.4 stars(so 4 on goodreads and not 5). But do read it. It is a bit different. 

There is supposed to be a play about this too. I hope I get to watch that someday.

Happy reading! :)